Thoughts on Being You

 

Image by Paolo

 

  1. Self control is the only real control that is always available to you.
  2. Your pains and injuries repeatedly confront you with the decision of whether you are going to be a victim or a survivor.
  3. Love is a gift; it can only be given, never earned.
  4. Today is perfectly suited for being who you always wanted to be.
  5. Not worrying is not the same as not caring.
  6. True unity doesn’t demand conformity.
  7. “Self esteem” and “good judgment” are different sides of the same coin.
  8. Loving someone doesn’t result in always enjoying them.
  9. Your competence will usually be gained by making many mistakes.
  10. Your autonomy and individuality will often be gained by having to accept the disapproval of some of the people you love.

 

 

 

Thoughts on Getting Good Sleep

Image by planetchopstick

1. Getting up and out of bed at the same time every day is an important part of establishing a regular sleep-wake cycle.

2. Minimize or eliminate your use of tobacco (in any form). Nicotine can be quite stimulating and interfere with getting to sleep. An addiction to nicotine if serious enough can awaken you in the middle of the night with cravings.

3. Caffeine (in any form to include: tea, soft drinks, chocolate, coffee, energy drinks, etc.) stays active in your body for several hours. On average half of the caffeine you consume at any given time will still be active in your body 7 hours later. Caffeine is very effective at preventing drowsiness so avoid using it after the middle of the afternoon to minimize its interference with getting to sleep at night.

4. Alcohol in the evening or at bed time may cause drowsiness but as it leaves your system throughout the night it will cause your sleep to be less sound and restful.

5. Large or spicy meals late in the evening can result in less restful sleep and additional discomfort (and medical problems) such as reflux and heartburn.

6. Go easy on the amount of fluids you drink of an evening in order to diminish awakenings to get up and go to the bathroom during your hours of sleep.

7. Exercise during the day is good for your general health and sleep but strenuous exercise close to bedtime results in your mind and body being less relaxed.

8. Put together a regular bedtime routine that will serve as a signal to your mind and body that it is time to wind down and go to sleep.

9. Make your bedroom a pleasant place to sleep. Pay attention to the noise, light, temperature, etc. in your bed room and make changes as necessary so you can get your best sleep.

10. Don’t make your bed a routine location for work, eating or entertainment (TV etc.). Use your bed mainly as a place for sleeping.

11. If you have been in bed trying to go to sleep for 20 minutes or more and are getting frustrated at not getting to sleep then consider getting out of bed and going to another room to read or relax until you feel sleepy.

12. If you have severe snoring, breathing lapses or violent muscle jerks in your sleep or are having persistent sleep problems that don’t seem to be improving despite your using reasonable strategies then you should probably talk to your doctor about further sleep evaluations or treatments.

Thoughts on Partnership

By Josh Berglund

  1. Score keeping is for competitors not partners.
  2. Very few partnerships are benefitted by (or survive) the justice that is inflicted by one partner getting even with the other.
  3. Love can’t be earned but trust has to be.
  4. Forgiveness benefits the person who forgives as much or more than the person who is forgiven.
  5. Divorces don’t end marriages any more than coroners end lives, they both just document the death that has already occurred.
  6. You can expect your partners to cooperate with you but don’t look for them to complete you.
  7. Partnerships are about participating with other people not possessing them.
  8. Emotional intimacy and emotional intensity are not the same.
  9. Infatuation adores and idolizes another person while love honors and forgives them.
  10. Your marriage or relationships that you have now will most likely be exactly the type of marriages and relationships that your children will eventually create in their own lives.

Thoughts on Staying Mentally Healthy

Mountain Flowers by Matt Lavin

1. Get Regular physical activity- go walking, jogging, cycling, swimming or whatever exercise you enjoy doing that gets your body active. Exercising at least 5 times per week for 30 or more minutes at a time is what is recommended but listen to your body and don’t over do it.

2. Eat healthy- exercise good judgment and act responsibly toward junk/snack food, sugars/sweets/candy, fats, caffeine and alcohol.

3. Take relaxation breaks- when you are feeling tense or stressed stop what you are doing and find a comfortable position and intentionally refocus you thoughts on pleasant ideas; relax the muscles in your body which are tense (neck, shoulders, jaws, etc.); breathe deeply and slowly with you stomach muscles.

4. Develop good sleep habits- go to bed at a reasonable time and make yourself get up at the same time every day if your routine schedule will permit it.

5. Prioritize relationships- stay close and connected to the people (and pets) you love and care for, talk to them often and let them know how dear they are to you.

6. Celebrate the beauty and talent around you- enjoy the sunsets, mountains, flowers and such that you witness; take pleasure in the writing, music, art and talents of people you run across today.

7. Define success for yourself- write out in clear simple terms a description of what a good or successful person is; from now on don’t let yourself get sidetracked spending your time and energy on what you really don’t think matters.

8. Give of yourself- contribute to your community without expectation of repayment; find ways to volunteer to help the unfortunate people and creatures of your world.

9. Manage your disappointment- you and the people around you are imperfect; disappointment in self and others is inevitable so manage it don’t try to evade or deny it.

10. Live today… today- living with your mind constantly focused on yesterday or tomorrow can rob you of and entire lifetime’s worth of joyous todays.

 

Thoughts on Coping with Grief

 

Image by Julie Jordan Scott

 

 

1. Permit yourself to experience your feelings. Do your best to recognize and accept them as a normal part of your healing from a life changing loss.

2. Expect to have a variety of different feelings as you grieve, sadness is not the only emotion associated with grief.

3. Tears are not a sign of weakness and are nothing you should be ashamed of. Tears are often unpredictable and are a normal part of the feeling and healing process of loss.

4. Alcohol and sedative medicines can often cause difficulties with grieving and increase the possibility of developing a longer and more complicated course of grief.

5. Take good care of yourself. Eat, sleep, socialize and exercise as you need to in order to maintain your physical and emotional health. Neglecting yourself honors and benefits no one.

6. Don’t purposely avoid the remaining pleasures, joys and beloved people and pets in your life. You are still alive and need the joy and company they can provide.

7. Get back into your usual schedule of responsibilities and interactions as soon as is practical. The structure of your responsibilities and schedule reinforce your purpose and value in the ongoing world.

8. Express your thoughts and feelings about your loss to a trusted friend or professional. Bottled or hidden emotions may get overblown in your mind and become frightening. Sharing your feelings can allow you to see how normal you and your feelings really are.

9. Avoid making major decisions until you feel your grief has largely healed. Many people are tempted to make big decisions about jobs, housing, relationships, geographic relocations, etc. to try to make their pain less or to try to distract themselves from their sorrow. Major decisions made in haste may be regretted for years to come.

10. Expect to re-experience powerful memories and feelings as you go through the important holidays and anniversaries during the first year after your loss. Each one will be a new reminder of how different your life is now.

11. If you are not healing from your grief or you believe you are trapped in depression or suicidal thoughts you should ask for help from your doctor, clergy or loved ones.

Thoughts on Parenting

 

Image by Greg Livaudais

 

1. Parenting is a process of helping your child to recognize, accept and exercise their own personal power and decision making responsibly.

2. Protecting your child isn’t always the best way of loving or parenting your child.

3. Don’t expect your child to practice values you don’t practice.

4. Punishment of ideas or feelings is abuse.

5. Success in parenting doesn’t require us to be smarter or stronger than our children or even have all the answers-we just need to remember what our goals and purposes are for our parenting and remain consistently committed to them.

6. It is more important for you as a parent to be aware of your child’s strengths and assets than their problems and weaknesses because your child needs to be shown their strengths and helped to understand that their strengths are the cornerstones and tools with which they will manage their challenges and build their own lives.

7. Children who believe they have failed at being appreciated will usually succeed at being dreaded.

8. Shaming a child won’t humble them-it humiliates them.

9. Healthy parenting focuses on contributing to your child’s development without necessarily intending to control it.

10. Your child’s bad behaviors are most often their strengths and assets being mismanaged by the child’s own immaturity, frustration or ignorance.